Long Distance Relationships...

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE NEVER EASY. FOR THE NEXT MONTH OR SO, PRESTON IS LIVING IN HIS HOMETOWN IN COLORADO BEFORE HE LEAVES ON MAY 8TH. I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHICH IS WORSE... HAVING HIM STILL HERE, BEING ABLE TO CALL HIM AND WHAT NOT OR JUST HAVING HIM LEAVE ON HIS MISSION NOW. OBVIOUSLY I'M GOING TO SAY I WOULD RATHER WANT HIM AROUND SO I CAN CALL AND SKYPE HIM, BUT IT'S PRACTICALLY TORTURE SEEING HIM BUT NOT BEING ABLE TO BE AROUND HIM. I WISH SO BAD HE WAS STILL HERE. ALL OF THESE EMOTIONS KEEP RUNNING THROUGH ME AND I FEEL LIKE I'VE LOST CONTROL OF MY OWN SELF. I'M AT THE POINT WHERE ANYTHING SETS ME OFF, WHETHER THAT MEANS I'M GOING TO START CRYING MY EYES OUT OR IF I'M GOING TO HAVE STEAM COMING OUT OF MY EARS, YOU JUST NEVER KNOW. 

TODAY HAS BEEN PARTICULARLY HARD. I WAS SO ANGRY AT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING PRESTON. IT JUST FEELS LIKE HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR ME ANYMORE AND ITS ONLY BEEN TWO DAYS SINCE HE LEFT. THEN I GOT TO THE POINT WHERE BEING ANGRY FELT GOOD, BECAUSE IT DIDN'T HURT FOR A WHILE. SO I HELD ON TO THAT. I'M STILL HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE LETTING IT GO BUT I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULD. MAYBE I'M JUST WEIRD AND CRAZY BUT WHEN YOU'RE SITTING, STARING AT YOUR PHONE WAITING FOR A TEXT OR A PHONE CALL AND HOURS PASS WITH NOTHING, YOU CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL FORGOTTEN. THE WORST PART IS HE DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE HE'S ACTING LIKE THIS. YOU WOULD THINK HE WOULD WANT TO TALK TO ME. MAYBE THIS IS ALL IN MY HEAD AND I JUST NEED TO LET IT GO. HA THAT'S PROBABLY TRUE! 

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARD AND THEY SUCK. BUT I THINK A KEY THING IS TO BE PATIENT AND TRUSTING. SOMETIMES HE DOESN'T HAVE TIME TO TEXT ME BECAUSE HE'S BUSY WITH HIS FAMILY OR FRIENDS AND I NEED TO BE OKAY WITH THAT. IT'S JUST A WEIRD CHANGE FROM BEING WITH HIM ALL DAY EVERY DAY TO TALKING TO HIM FOR A COUPLE MINUTES A DAY. THAT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING THOUGH. JUST TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.